The opening of the world’s first monkey recycling facility has been described as “bloody marvellous” by Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs Owen Patterson. Speaking at the launch of the nationwide “Trade your Ape” campaign, Patterson sited methane emissions from landfilled monkey’s as one of the biggest contributors to carbon emissions in the UK…………..ok. No he didn’t…….and there is no new monkey recycling facility….the old one still works perfectly well. Stop McKechnie…just stop. Everybody knows that you can’t recycle a monkey…..or can you? This blogs explores some of the bizarre things that people actually recycle. You should be very afraid!
Pet recycling
Yes. Believe it or not such a facility does actually exist in Mannheim, Germany. Apparently there was a potential health problem with the number of pets being buried on public grounds. In response to this owners of deceased (sorry no parrot jokes) furry friends can be dropped off at Doggone (yes, that’s the real name) who will arrange a tasteful (surely not) ceremony and then cremate Tiddles or Rover and then turn their ashes into fertilizer. I can hear animal lovers the length and breadth of the country going crazy….please don’t shoot the messenger.
False Teeth
Apparently a good set of falsers contains about $25 worth of precious metals, including gold and silver. Who would have known? According to the Daily Green, there are roughly 3.6 million sets of false teeth manufactured each year. Please! No complaints from irate pensioners who’ve had their falsers nicked whilst having a cat nap (no reference here to the previous point intended). A nonprofit organization in Japan has been recycling dentures and donate the proceeds to UNICEF. To date, they’ve raised more than £270,000 for UNICEF and other organizations.
Hair
I’m afraid I can’t help you here. Cue-ball. Nuff said. Thankfully this venture relies on other sources of follicle off-cuts from the good people of Thailand. Producing “eco-friendly, durable, aristocratic, and quality furniture and household goods”……somehow the idea of sitting on a couch made from someone’s discarded locks doesn’t appeal to me. But hey, whatever floats your boat!
Coffins
Disturbed enough yet? Well, why not try a recycled coffin on for size. If you are planning on getting cremated then why not save yourself a few quid and rent a casket (yes I said rent) from the funeral directors or buy one made from recycled cardboard……where do I sign.
I really don’t know what else to say about this one.
Old socks
Forget textile recyclers. Why not make stylish (ahum…he says clearing his throat) furniture out of your old socks and undies. Why not indeed? Not top of my Christmas list but whatever floats your boat.
Sheep Poo
Sheep Poo into paper. Why didn’t I think of this one? An enterprising Welsh company is busily scouring the valleys collecting sheep droppings which are turned into paper using a pretty ingenious process. Not baaaahd eh? There are also instructions on their site if you want to make your own!
Anything for a cheap laugh. Anybody else out there with some other examples of bizarre recycling projects?